Im just saying

A friend of mine recently asked me what the point of this blog is.  But not in an accusatory way.  As in, not "this blog is pointless", but more "is there some point I was supposed to be getting?"  And while this started as random rants (my hatred of dolphins, the perfection of the ice in the ER, or IL Exams and the inappropriate thoughts I was having during them), there is also a lot of Bollywood/music randomness (like amusing Afghani rap lyrics, translations to Persian/Indian or old Bollywood songs, or how one random bhangra song seems to be taking over the world).  And while this is keeping in line with being "Bakvaas, Banter, and Random Musings", or atleast the bakvaas part of the list, maybe I'll try to come up with some random point.

There is this hilarious blog called Stuff White People Like that inspired me to make the purpose of this blog a spoof of that, like maybe what law students like.  But unfortunately, I don't think law students seem to like a lot in general, and plus, any list like that would require me spending even more time with people who routinely do things like argue about the day's Con Law class discussion right, delaying taking already-poured shots of tequilla for 20 minutes to discuss the details of affirmative action programs in MI.  

The other option I thought of was writing about places I've found and really come to love around Charlottesville.  This was an especially good idea since I LOVE exploring places, until I realized I was in Charlottesville and that would be a very short list.  In fact, here it is: The dinner menu at The Blue Moon Diner and the food and beer at Beer Run. 

So it looks like random musings it will remain.  Speaking of which, who knew the drive between DC and Cville was so scenic?  I really think I could see myself living in Culpepper.  I'm not sure what they do in Culpepper, but I assume that they need lawyers there too.  

 (http://www.auwirt.info/index.html?/hiking_kitzbuehel.html
)

OK fine, this is not Culpepper, VA.  It's a farm in the Alps.  But still, it vaguely looks like Culpepper, except replace the snowcapped Alps with the BlueRidge mountains, and replace the quaint mountain home with working farms.

And this is just some farm in China.  (http://travel.nantou.gov.tw/english/e_Attactions2_1.asp?view=8)

    Yesterday I found an old MTV International CD in my car.  A friend of mine went to live in Bulgaria for a while, and apparently Bulgarian Pop Music is just not a robust enough genre to warrant its own MTV station.  On the CD, which also included many American and British pop bands, a Spanish song, and some African techno, what really surprised me was the inclusion of two Indian songs, one an independent bhangra song and one an actual Bollywood song.  My friend told me that the Bollywood song (Dilbar Dilbar from the movie Sirf Tum) was actually so popular that he had grown accustomed to hearing it in random bars around the city.  This song, which was pretty popular,  was not a song I personally would expect to win over the hearts of many Eastern Europeaners.

    I guess I am still surprised by people who are not enamored with, or at least have a healthy appreciation, of Bollywood.  I mean, whatever the reasons are, whether you like the movies because you are actually just that romantic (sick), or you love to just sit back and three hours laughing at a usually over the top story line, or some other reason, most people I know at least "get it" in some way or another.  But every now and then I meet someone who just doesn't get it.  I used to have a very open mind about this.  Everyone has their own tastes right?  Maybe I'm using the term Bollywood to encompass too much, like a general rejection of Bollywood means a general rejection of most aspects of Indian culture, like bhangra, independent films, South Asian authors, etc. in general. 

    And while that may be a bit unfair, I also think it's a pretty gauge on a person's openness to Indian culture in general, even if it is an extreme way to gauge attitudes.In reality the truth is that movies that center around a simple story that centers around a simple truth, like you should be able to fall in love with who you want or you shouldn't judge people based on factors not within their control, told with as much color and theatrics as possible, with expected and extended breaks with reality to throw in a song and some dancing, does seems like a pretty good introduction to Indian culture.  I mean, India is the only country I've been to where EVERYONE I know has a mental registry of hundreds of songs that they can pull from, and often do, for any situation.  

    But more importantly, its basic formula has been appreciate around the world, literally.  My aunt was telling me that when she was studying in Russia in the 70s, the Russians would all ask her if she knew Indian movie stars.  A cute article by a Russian in America includes the following conversation the Russian author often has when attending Bollywood movies here:

Other person: Hi! Are you Indian? (despite the freckles and the red hair)
Me: No. *smile*
Other person: Is your husband Indian?
Me: No. I am a Russian and Bollywood movies are popular there.

    An article from the International Herald Tribunal talks about how no matter where you are in the world, from Malaysia to Japan to the Caribbean, people have jumped on the Bollywood wagon. My Persian friend's mother told me how she grew up watching Bollywood movies, and could sing multiple songs word for word without understanding a word of hindi.  The Afghani cab driver in San Diego who took my mom around had a healthy knowledge of Indian film too, even if he did also profess that most Bollwood actors were really Afghanis who had snuck into India and taken over the film industry.  When a co worker of mine was visiting the UAE, he mentioned to me that the "Casting Couch" video scandal was apparenrly not just headline news in India, but also across the Middle East.  

    But it's not just an openess to Bollywood either.  England's national food is Chicken Tikka Masala, and when I was in Tokyo last summer there was at least one Indian restaurant in about a 3 block radius, often more.  But with all good things come the ridiculous, and perhaps one of the most ridiculous things that seems to have won over the hearts of non Indians is Daler Mehndi's "Tunak Tunak Tun" song.  While I had heard this song played at many grad parties (a phenomenon at least amongst the Richmond desis of throwing a huge party similar to a coming out party when your kid graduates from high school which are often over the top and also a lot of fun, at least for the first 20 you go to), I got the shock of my life when I visited the Rugby Road frats at UVA and heard it playing as a college freshman.  This song apparently didn't take over just frats across the country (I heard similar reports from Cornell, UF, Georgetown, Dartmouth, etc.), it has found fans across a wide range of groups.  But what makes this interesting is, unlike Punjabi MC which was remixed with rap and a legitimate Billboard top 20 hit here, this song really isn't a remix.  Below are some of the more amusing fans I've found.

5.  Holland Michingan's Christ in Youth Summer conference 2007- Because what better way to express your love for Christ than a large, hyper Punjabi guy?

OK I know I've already done a church group, but this other group uses the song as their Teen program promotional video, TNT- Teens Navigating Together, and it's hilarious (wait til the random guy comes on the screen):

4.  I know there are people who really get into Zombies, but Zombies and bhangra?  Hilarity ensues (once you get to the second minute).

3.  Random Americans at a school talent show (and even though they seem a little confused ont he difference between Arabs and Indian, they may actually be better than the original video)

2. In Warsaw Poland, the The AIESEC International Congress 2006.  

AIESEC seems to be a fan, and they have videos of random people around the world getting down to this song from Austria, Korea (and they actually even throw in a namaste for legitimacy), the UK and UAE (which looks scarily like some weird cult practice), and Hungary.

1.  And finally, World or Warcraft, because if people who spend most of their time in cyber-reality have gotten into this, it must have spread pretty far.

So yeah, it's taking over the world.  And of all the bhangra songs out there, i really really wish it was one I at least liked.

Below is the song with the English translation, and Dilbar Dilbar (discussed above).

So I was forwarded an article about a study done by the University of Michigan which concludes that a good fight may be good for your health.  Why?  Apparently when people suppress their anger, earlier death was twice as likely.  I think I may have read this article earlier.  I’m sure if I did, my response was pretty much the same as it is now, basically along the lines of “Oh shit.”

While I’m usually pretty good at expressing things I’m thinking, both sincere and passing thoughts, especially the latter if it will amuse and/or annoy the people around me, expressing anger is not one of my strengths.  So I told myself the study isn’t really about me because actually the study does not focus of the effects of suppressing anger as an individual, in life, in general, but instead on the effects of suppressing anger within couples.  Therefore since anger suppression is pretty constant in all parts of my life, this study’s narrow scope doesn’t include the full breadth of my behavior.  So it’s actually probably a lot worse for me.  Ha ha!  Got you there stupid study!

First of all it concerns me that someone read this article and thought of me.  Sure, I’m no stranger to the term Ice Queen, but I mean, come on!  So I took the forward, which in actuality was sent to a large list of people, very personally.  I’ve actually being talking about this to, well, almost everyone I know.  So looking at the survey, the main point is that “[w]hen couples get together, one of their main jobs is reconciliation about conflict . . . When you don't, if you bury your anger, and you brood on it and you resent the other person or the attacker, and you don't try to resolve the problem, then you're in trouble."  Taking that premise, either in terms of within a relationship or just in general, it seems like it goes: Anger --> Suppression --> Brooding --> Resentment --> Early Death OR Anger --> Expression --> Fight --> Reconciliation --> Long life full of a vibrant happiness that is similar to the kind shown in Claritin commercials. 

So the obvious conclusion is that I need to quit suppressing my anger.  Step 1.  Deal with the things that are pissing me off right now.  Unfortunately there is not much I can do that will affect the decisions of the Democratic party RE: the MI and Fla primaries.  And I really don’t have any control over speed traps around Charlottesville.  Or the extremely slow service in Harris Teeter.  Haha.  Oh wait, humour is a way of not dealing with a situation at hand.  I read that somewhere.  Sigh.  Ok so I’ll skip ahead.

Step 2: Finding the root of the problem.   So what exactly is anger?  Apparently, anger is not a problem, and is neither good nor bad.  In fact, “[a]nger only becomes a problem for people when it is repressed. Unresolved anger can lead to serious physical and mental health problems such as heart disease, stroke, depression and anxiety.”  Umm, so we are back at square 1.  There is no good reason to suppress emotions in general, but this apparently goes twice for anger.  “This type of anger is destructive. It is left over anger from experiences that we were either unable or refused to deal with at the time.” (Same source).  So why do I, and apparently many, many people on the list of this email forward, behave in this way?  “As we grow up, we learn about anger and how to respond to it. Some people learn that anger is bad.”  So blame your parents?  Blame your parents!  Yayy!  I now have a reason, though totally not in line with reality, seems to be the excuse for everything today.  Unfortunately in my case, this reason makes no sense. 

After ruminating about what could possibly be at the root of this behavior with a friend, I was sent some information about people who fall under the Horoscope sign Cancer.  Those of you who know me well know how much value I place on a system that says you share the same characteristics as about 1/12 of the population, ever to live, based on something as arbitrary as when your parents decided to conceive.  But um, the more I looked into this, the eerier it got.  Site after site was filled with little gems like “Typically, your sensitive Cancer can hold your feelings quietly behind your own walls”.  A lot of the things seemed to fit me quite well actually.  Especially the poitive stuff like, Loving and Emotional, Sensitive and nurturing, Intuitive as well as imaginative, and Sympathetic and Protective.  I'm not so sure about the negative traits, which in list form seem to be “Over-emotional and sensitive; Clinging and possessive” and “cruel, possessive, domineering, timid, tend toward brooding and cynicism.”  Perhaps the most complete list of negative traits was www.astrology-online.com from which stated, “The Cancerian has many potential faults. They can be untidy, sulky, devious, moody, brood on insults (very often imagined), yet are easily flattered. They can be difficult, lack stability, easily corrupted, because they are convincing romanticizers, can make successful confidence tricksters. Their romanticism in another sense make them ardent supporters of causes, for example a football team with whose heroes they can identify in a world of fantasy.”  There it is, all the negative aspects the cult of astrology can throw at me.

See the common thread?  No?  Well you nimrod, it’s being overly sensitive.  Doesn't that seem to fit?  Now while I don’t believe in astrology, those star-gazers might have something there.  If you get angry over something and it’s something that is changeable, say your co-worker is taking credit for a project you did, then yes, I can see where anger can work as fuel to correct the situation.  But situations like that are no brainers.  When it is someone close to you, behind that anger is probably some emotion that makes you feel vulnerable like, feeling hurt, disappointed, kindness, loneliness, love . . . oh wait, no, those are just the list of emotions from wikipedia.  Either way, the only two reasons someone close to you would do something that made you feel . . . any sort of negative emotion is that they either 1) meant it, and who wants to know that someone you trust so much would purposefully hurt you?  And If that is the case, you only have two option, a) move on or b) if it doesn’t bother you enough to do so, you aren’t going to change such a person so you’re just going to have to get over it OR 2) didn’t realize what they were doing, in which case a) they didn’t mean it, so you being upset isn’t exactly justified and b) they don’t get it so while you can fix this one situation there will probably be other times that you are faced with a similar situation, starting a possibly never-ending cycle of explaining your feelings, making progress, moving in a healthy direction . . . you see where I am going with this?  Because somewhere along the way, I lost my point.

Because it’s not that I don’t see the importance of communication, of expressing anger, making emotional progress, etc etc etc.  In fact, I have empirical evidence that I understand the importance of this.  Seriously.  I can prove my understanding with the concept of emotional maturity with actual facts.  Well, not a lot of facts, so maybe more just anecdotal evidence.  Out of four serious, long, not flippant relationships I’ve had (oh and just so we are all on the same page, by relationships I am including all relationships I’ve had with anyone except for my immediate family members), the two in which I felt seriously involved, saw a future, and in general felt the most comfortable were the only two relationships, in which I have ever felt comfortable fighting or just expressing myself completely in general.  So, I get it.  It’s just, I’m not sure how people get there, or how I got there previously, or why anyone would want to be there.  I mean, are the extra few years you get worth the emotional intensity, and worse yet, the potential let-down, required in confronting someone who is one of the closer people in your life?  I guess I still haven’t made up my mind.  But then again, is that surprising given my "devious, moody, unstable, trickster, overly sensitive personality"?  Hmm, is me being over sensitive to the entire field of astrology only prove their point that Cancerians tend to be overly sensitive?  Oh no, the Escher mind twist begins!  I suppose if I don't drop dead any moment now and there are additional blog entries, you can assume that I learned how to live more in lines with what is suggested in the U. Mich study.  Or, to make up for the negative effects of surpressing anger, I instead give up another bad habit such as Bar Review, or alcohol in general.  :)  See you guys later, maybe.